Your Online Safety Plan

While there are unique safety challenges specific to each form of technology, service, and app, here are ten general practices to support online safety.

1. Keep your computer or tablet in a high-traffic area – e.g., the kitchen or family room.
2. Set limits regarding the sites your kids are allowed to visit, and for how long.
3. Spend time with your children online and invite them to show you sites and activities they enjoy, including chat rooms and social networking.
4. Reinforce body-safety and cyber-safety rules:
• “It’s not okay for other people (kids, teens or adults) to show you pictures or movies of naked people. If you see a photo of a naked person on the computer, please come tell me.”
• “If you have an interaction online or by phone that makes you feel uncomfortable, please tell me or another trusted adult.”
• “If someone tries to contact you by computer or phone who you don’t know, please come tell me or another trusted adult.”
• “Keep your personal information private with your family (birth date, phone #, address, passwords).”
5. Get to know online friends just like you would want to know the people your children hang out with face-to-face.
6. Talk with your children and teens about sex and sexuality.
7. Resist the urge to purchase external web cams.
8. Set clear rules for social networking – e.g., friending Mom or Dad as a condition and only friending people you know.
9. Ask your child to sign a “safe use” agreement. (Family Online Safety Agreement.)
10. Do not hesitate to revoke privileges if the “Safe Use” agreement is broken.

The more you talk with your children about body safety, online safety, sex and sexuality, the more likely your children will seek you out if they have questions or find themselves in an uncomfortable situation. Continually remind children and teens that you have a “no-secrets” home, and that there is nothing they can say or do to make you not love them.

 

Just the Facts, Folks – Online Abuse and How it Happens

[Part 1 in a 3-part series about Keeping Kids Safe Online.]

According to the National Center for Exploited and Missing Children, one in five children (ages 10-17) has been sexually solicited online and nearly 60% of teens have received an email or Instant Message from a stranger—and half have responded back.

For abuse to take place, online predators need access to and privacy with vulnerable children and teens.

Access
95% of youth (ages 12-17) use social networking sites, chat rooms, or blogs[1], giving online predators tremendous access to minors. Even children under five are going online at least once a week.[2]

Privacy
With privacy and anonymity, predators engage youth across multiple media, from chat rooms to gaming sites to text. In fact, according to one survey, 89% of sexual solicitations targeting youth were made in chat rooms or through Instant Message[3].

Gaming also allows for private interactions. 97% of teens (ages 12-17) play online games and 27% of them game with people they first meet on online.[4]

 

While researchers are still learning about the nuances of online grooming behavior, solicitation may include direct requests for chat, information, sexual activity, in-person meeting, or exposure to sexual materials.

 

Vulnerability

Based on research by the leading experts in child sexual abuse prevention, predators seek youth with a history of sexual or physical abuse; who post sexually provocative photos or videos; who talk about sex online with people they do not know; and/or who feel alienated or alone. Boys who are gay or who question their sexual orientation are also vulnerable if they seek out information and connection online.[5]

 

Predators specifically look for kids who engage in four risky online behaviors[6], all of which are more common than we’d like to think:

• Communicating with unknown people
• Sharing personal information with unknown people (More than half of all teens have given out personal info online to someone they don’t know, including photos and physical descriptions.)[7]
• Talking about sex online
• Meeting online friends in the outside world

Even youth who are not engaging in risky behaviors can be vulnerable in the “Wild West” of the online world. For instance, 70% of kids (ages 8-18) have encountered pornography online accidently, sometimes by entering a seemingly benign search term as part of a homework assignment.[8]

Equipped with the facts, now it's time to put together an online safety plan. Stay tuned for part two in this series.

 

Sources:
1. Lenhart A. www.pewinternet.org, Nov 2013.

2. Lenhart A. Social media and young adults. Pew Internet and American Life Project, 2010.

3. http://www.guardchild.com/statistics/

4. Lenhart A. Teens, video games, and civics. Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2008.

5. Wolak J, Finkelhor D, Mitchell K, Ybarra M. Online “predators” and their victims: myths, realities, and implications for prevention and treatment. American Psychologist, 2008; 63, 111-128.

6. Mitchell, K.J., Finkelhor, D., & Wolak, J. Youth internet users at risk for the most serious online sexual solicitations. American Journal of Preventative Medicine, 2007; 32, 532-536.

7. Social Media and Young Adults. Pew Internet & American Life Project, Feb. 2010.

8. Generation M: media in the lives of 8-18 year olds. Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. 2006.